Being in the Here & Now…

One thing we must learn is how to be in the present moment.  This takes practice!  For a while, the mind will keep bringing up thoughts of the past or even the future.  The past is over and cannot be changed.  The future has not happened.  

Each day, take what ever time you possibly can to practice being mindful.  In the present moment.  Start by doing three deep and slow cleansing breaths.  Relax your body!  Then, just pay attention to what is going on right now!  Involving your five senses.  What do you hear?  What do you see?  What do you smell?  What do you taste?  What do you feel?  

Every time a thought of past or future pops into your mind, acknowledge that thought, then tell yourself that is the past or has not happened yet and return to being in the present moment.  At first, your mind will bring up thoughts a lot!  Be persistent, you can over come those thoughts.  After all, your are the one in control of yourself.  

You can do ANYTHING you put your mind to and with practice.  We are beautiful creatures of the light/love.  After I almost died and had to have a very large surgery to save my life, I had no balance or muscle left in my body.  I took it one day at a time and I would spend a few minutes just trying to stand on one foot.  At first, I had to hold on to a chair, but after a while I was able to let go of the chair and finally, I could stand on one foot for a long time.  This is true for anything you want to obtain.  Start small and give it your best each and every day!  There is nothing you cannot do!

Here is an exercise for when you feel down, that I have found to be helpful.  Look in the mirror, smile at yourself!  Smiling actually releases chemicals in the brain that help us feel better and looking at yourself as you force a smile on your face is pretty funny!  The next thing you know, you are smiling without even trying to smile.  

Starting your day on a positive loving note is the best way to begin.  Be sure you get enough sleep!  Take in at least three deep and slow breaths to cleanse your body.  Think of things you are grateful for and say them out loud!  Still feeling down?  Go to the mirror and smile at yourself!  Exercise is also a great way to release feel good chemicals in the body.  If you have never exercised before, then just do some slow stretches or even basic yoga poses.  Taking a walk is one of the best ways to get exercise into your life.  I think walking is the number one form of exercise.  Try to take in those three deep slow breaths several times a day.  Be sure to practice being in the present moment!  You will not be disappointedly!  It is amazing what happens after you practice this on a daily basis and you get past the thoughts from popping up in your mind.  Nature is an amazing and beautiful place…………


Finding our Light/Love…

We all come here with the same purpose, to find our light within and help it grow.  Our light is our soul.  Light is Love and all thing positive are of Love.  Everything else is not of love and therefore negative.  Each and everyone of us is of the light.  We are born to this world that is full of all kinds of negativity.  We only learn from negative things.  So, life is filled with trials, tribulations and learning.  Children are very connected to the light.  The younger they are, the more they are connected.  Society plays a huge roll in masking their light.  We basically come here with amnesia of who we are and where we come from, with the common goal of remembering.  Children do not have the stress of bills and making ends meet and they are free to go with the flow of their light.

Every single thing we do is a choice.  When we wake up, what clothes we wear, what we eat, where we go, how we react to things, etc.   We either choose from the light/love or from the negative/not love.  

Nothing in this life can make you happy, only you have that ability.  No object or person can make this happen.  An object or person may feel like happiness temporarily, but that happiness is fleating and does not last.  We are the only ones with the power to create happiness for ourselves.  We only have control over ourselves.  We control the choices we make and cannot control what someone else chooses to do.  This is why so many rich people are not happy, because you cannot buy happiness.  You cannot buy anything that is of the light and love!  Money can make life easier, with less stress of paying bills and obtaining the basic needs of life.  We truly only do need food, clothing and shelter.

So, you focus on your very own light/love.  You grow your light until it fills you completely and then you can help others find and grow there own light.  This is why it feels so good to help someone else, because that comes from love and only love can lift us up!  

How does one do this?  Know that life here on earth is not real.  The only thing that is real is love/light.  You take time every single day, if even just ten minutes, and you breathe slowly, deeply and relax your physical body.  The more you do this, the easier it becomes to relax.  Guided meditations are very good for beginners.  They walk you through the steps of breathing and relaxing your body.  There are many out there, just find the one that seems to click for you.  

Being in the present moment… This is very important.  Even if you only find the time to do this during a meal or during a break, do it!  You focus only on what is going on right now!  Notice your breath, what do you hear?  What do you smell?  What do you taste?  What does something feel like?  Using your five senses you explore the here and now.  Not the past or the future, just what is going on right now.  When you have thoughts enter your mind of the past or the future, anything that is not right now, acknowledge them and return to the present moment!  This will happen, often, at first.  You are teaching yourself how to be in this very moment without worries or concerns of what has happened or what might happen.  Because reality is ONLY what is going on right NOW!  

The key is to train your body to relax and focus on the here and now only.  Once you do this, you can begin to find out who your really are.  Not what someone else wants you to be.  What is fun for you?  For me, I actually enjoy cleaning and doing crafts.  Learn about yourself as you would a new friend.  You are your own best friend and you are never alone!  Build a loving relationship with yourself!  This is how you find happiness.  It has always been within you!  Trust, honor and cherish yourself, as you would do with a best friend.  Choose always from your light/LOVE and you create a beautiful future for yourself and anyone around you………….

I Feel Like A Daisy…

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Try writing down the phrase “I feel like a ———” and then
toss out the first ten nouns that come to mind: pizza,
orchid, sword, whatever. Now read over what you’ve written
and see what rings true. Do you really feel like an orchid?
In what way? Be as irrational as you can be. The less you
keep the rules, the more your mind will begin to use words
as vehicles to convey the sense of your experience, rather
than as rigid structures that limit your thoughts and feelings.
~ Revealing Ourselves: The Art of Self-Disclosure, Martha Beck

Why do I feel like a daisy? Because I am pretty and I smell good and I flourish in the spring time. That was the first word that came to my mind, daisy. I love Martha Beck and I agree with her statement. Words are a powerful thing. The more we explore words the wider our horizon becomes.

When we find ourselves in a depression, we need to distract our mind away from the darkness. Even the smallest of things can help us pull ourselves up and out of that dark place. My mother was feeling depressed (it is genetic and we both suffer from it) and she was invited to a dinner, but did not feel like going. She made herself go and ended up feeling much better. They all wound up taking about words and their proper usage. Just a simple conversation, but it distracted her away from the depression and onto looking up words. She was with friends and they had a good time talking to each other. Having a friend to talk with and help distract your mind is awesome. I miss being near my best friend and seeing her regularly. But do not forget, we are our own best friend as well. We can always help ourselves in times of need just like a friend can.

One of my siblings is the kind of person that does not cry in public and does not talk about anything bothering her. When someone meets her the first impression is that she is a very cold bitch. Excuse my swear word, but that is the best word for it. She stares at people and her face makes one wonder why she hates them so much. I don’t think she realizes this, but it definitely comes across as her being mean, judgmental and scary. She was recently fired from a job for bullying in the form of exclusion and gestures. She does not understand how this could be true, but if she would step back and really look at things she might see that just the looks on her face along with her body language causes one to feel very intimidated and scared. Prior to being fired she had been told she needed to take a class on how to interact with others and I couldn’t agree more. I wanted to talk to her about it all and help her see what she was doing, but I did not. The reason I did not do this is because she is scary and she does NOT like to talk about feelings or any of it. If she could get to a place where she could step back and really look at herself without judgement she might be able to begin to understand why she has found herself in such a lonely and dark place. We cannot help someone who does not want the help and who does not want to see the truth in their own actions. So I stepped back and just gave her a hug and let it all be. If she ever gets to a place where she wants to change herself, then she will have my full support.

The only person we can change is ourselves. We cannot change another person, but if they want our help we can assist them in their own recovery. Only if they have already chose to change themselves. We have to accept people as they are, because nothing we do or say is going to change them. We can lead by examples of ourself, but in the end change can only be found when each person chooses it for them. Just knowing psi time statements and voices them is not going to completely change anyone. My sister says very smart things and sounds as thought she understands how to be positive and yet her actions are the complete opposite. We start by using positive words and creating a habit of them, then we move on to our actions.

Having morals is a good way to know what is right for you and what is not. Much like we setting up boundaries for ourselves. So we know who we are and what we stand for. I have written down my beliefs. Like, I believe animals should always be protected. I believe that we do not actually die when our physical body dies. I have looked at the kind of person I want to be and I made of list of those qualities. I then also wrote down what types of things are right and what are wrong, so I had a basis to go back to when I felt puzzled by a feeling or occurrence. I always ask myself if something is positive or not. Is it coming from love? Is this the right thing to do for me? We are all different so what is right for me, may not be right for you………….

Day 8, Affirmations…

I woke today to discover that back at my home in Georgia, there was an earthquake around 10:30 pm last night. The earthquake was a 4.4 and it shook the house for about ten seconds. They heard a loud boom prior to the shaking. So they have had two out of three natural disaster events while I have been away. A major ice storm and an earthquake. I say two out of three because things tend to come in threes, so I assume there will be one more event. Mother Earth is cleansing herself. Luckily, there has been no reported damage from the earthquake.

I asked myself how I thought I would of felt had I been home when these things occurred and my first response was fear. Fear has no place in a positive mind. So, I chose to focus on the positive facts, which are that no one was hurt and our house has been saved from any damage through all of it.

My son called me early today. He could not sleep because my daughter was screaming and saying horrible things to her son. That is something I must change when I return home. I cannot change her, but I can refuse to allow that kind of behavior in my home. She has a choice. She can focus on correcting her negativity and stay or she can just go on her way. Either way, I will not have my home be filled with constant negativity. Everyone has a choice and choosing a positive and loving way of living is a must for me. I have seen first hand how important it is for me to have a positive home life. No where does it say that I have to allow negativity to reside in my home. Maybe my daughter will see the light and finally notice that she does have control over her own actions. Maybe she won’t, but one thing is for sure, I have a right to have a calm and positive home. My grandson deserve positive words, not negative and hateful words.

Today is a beautiful sunny day here in Florida. I thought I would share some of my list of Affirmations that I say out loud every day:

Everything is OK!
I AM at Peace!
I AM Happy!
My Thoughts Are Under My Control!
I Radiate Love and Happiness!
I Feel Fulfilled and Joyful!
Joy Over Flows in my Life!
I Take Charge of My Life!
I AM Confident!
I Choose to be Happy!
I Forgive Myself!
I See Each Part of My Life as a Lesson!
I Accept Myself Completely!
I Love and Accept All Parts of myself!
I Love and Approve of myself!
I AM Filled with Energy, Vitality & Self Esteem!
I AM Loveable! ………….

The Light Within…

We all have a beautiful shinning light within ourselves. Some call it the soul and others may call it their God connection. Whatever you call it, we all do have it. We are all created from the same source of life, light and beauty. No matter what color your skin is or where you live, we all have the light within!

A very old friend of mine, that taught me way back in my early teen years about spirituality and the light, just called me today. I am so grateful for his phone call, as he reminded me of my light within and how we create our own lives by the things we speak out loud. I am a firm believer in this and I am surprised that I forgot all about my light. I was able to get control of seriously debilitating Panic Attacks by meditating and using a trigger word, mine is RELAX, which took some time and daily practice, but was how I stopped being a slave to those Panic Attacks. To this day I use the trigger word to calm me down and relax me. The answer has always been right before my eyes. The answer to the enormous amount of Pain I have been suffering with….. I know what I need to do, In order to get a handle on this pain. First of all, I HAVE to STOP saying that I am in pain. Voicing it only makes it more real. Secondly, instead of saying that I am in Pain, I NEED to say a positive Affirmation. Something like, I refuse to allow this pain to be a part of me! I am strong and resilient! I only allow positive light within my being! From past experiences I know that positive words spoken out loud do create a much more loving environment and help create a positive life. When you hear the thoughts in your mind that are negative, it’s ok, just acknowledge the thought and then say out loud something positive, like the opposite of the thought. It takes 21 days to form a habit, so the first three weeks of doing this will seem difficult, because it is something new and not what your used to doing. When you do this every single day, no matter how you feel, you will form a new positive habit. Before you know it, you will see life in a more positive light and all the negative things that have trapped you in depression or pain or whatever you are having to deal with, will ease away. Just like when I began the journey to place a trigger word within while in deep relaxation. I had to force myself to do this every day, at first. I scheduled it and no matter how I felt, I did it! After a few weeks I found myself looking forward to my daily sessions of relaxation and in two months I found my entire body felt so much better, instead of sick all of the time. This can work for the pain as well. You can use a word or a symbol or an affirmation, anything you want. Be sure to keep it the same things every time. Even if you only can find ten minutes for this a day, do it! Take deep slow breathes in and out. Just those breathes alone will relax your body quickly. If you are new to this, then focus on your toes by tightening them up as you breathe in and relaxing them as you breathe out. Work your way up through your entire body. When you reach the top of your head, your body will be very relaxed. In that relaxed moment focus on your word, symbol or affirmation for as long as you can. Then slowly wiggle your toes and hands and gently get up and stretch. This is all it will take, but you have to commit yourself to it every day. I am beginning my journey today by using a symbol while I am deeply relaxed and focusing on thoughts of love, healing, light and happiness!

We can only control ourselves and only we can make a difference in hour bodies and mind. I feel so much hope inside of me right now, because I know first hand that this works. Way back in 1995 when I began this journey for panic attacks, I found it was much easier to listen to a guided meditation, until I saw how to relax my body by myself. There are all kinds of APPs out there for free that can guide you and help you find peaceful relaxation…



Trying to keep my mind occupied…

I have found that my pain is more tolerable when I keep my mind busy. Sometimes I do crafts or clean what I can thoroughly. I can’t stand very long. Bending or pushing and pulling causes my pain to flare up. So, vacuuming is very hard, expect I can do the hard floors cause there is no push or pull stress on them. Even sitting can be intolerable. Especially if something touches my tailbone. I am most comfortable sitting on very squishy seats. I have to sit up right with pillows behind me and under me to cradle my lower back and tailbone. My neck is a constant source of pain as well. Not much can be done to cradle it. I do stretching exercises multiple times a day and I use an herbal heat pack I made that I heat in the microwave for 90 seconds. It takes me a vary long time to do anything due to the pain. Having to move and adjust myself and even lay down when it gets to be just too much. I gave my adult son the chore of vacuuming daily, but he just can’t seem to do it every day. The kitchen seems to be a disaster often. I clean it up when I can do it, from a sitting position. Sometimes I just feel like nothing would ever be done if not for me. Which causes me to feel pretty depressed. Pushing myself too much also drags me down in pain and depression. So, for about two hours after my pain medication I can do a craft or get something done around the house. I try to do what I can because it occupies my mind. When my mind is busy, I don’t feel dragged down with depression or the pain. For a while I was working on beaded things. Like dragonflies and spiders, then jewelry and such. After a few months of that I became bored with it and had to find something else to focus on. I just spent an hour cleaning up around the house, now I hurt so bad I want to cry!!!

    It is so hot and humid here that going outside is rare for me. The heat just sucks the life out of me. Makes me feel all kinds of sick! I love the fall, the weather is perfect then and my favorite thing is to prepare for Halloween. We do a haunted walk to the back of my house for the kids to gets scared and get their candy. I get all kinds of compliments for doing it. They always say no one does that stuff anymore. Unfortunately, the fall also seems to be when I end up unable to walk every year and have to be in a wheelchair! I’m praying that doesn’t happen this year. I have a combination of medications that actually help me now, so I pray deeply, that I will not be in the wheelchair again!

    At night, when my three year old grandson goes to bed, I read. It’s the only time I can sit quietly and read. He doesn’t let me read during the day and he just will not go to sleep for a nap ever. He is my daughters child, but he lives with me and she is in Illinois living her own life. I love him to death, but he is a he source of stress. Stress is the biggest problem in my life. It increases my pain and my depression. Who doesn’t get depressed when they live life 24/7 in pain? If I could just find a way to be stress free and keep my mind occupied, I think I would be in a much better place over all. It is like I need quiet time for myself, especially of rather hours between medication doses when my pain is full force! Don’t get me wrong, I do not want any of the people in my life to not be here. I just need quiet time several times a day.

    And so here I am, super severe pain engulfing my being, wishing I could just find a position to offer me some relief…. Any relief…. Oh this nightmare has to end someday, right?