…EXPECTATIONS…

I have trouble not having expectations of others and that always leaves me full of disappointment.  I was raised to act right, because that’s what was expected of me.  There for, I was raised to have expectations…

I have tried so hard to just let go of those expectations, but they are so deep inside of me, that they are automatic.  We can only depend on ourselves and thinking someone else will do what we would do, is great expectations of that person, which leaves us totally disappointed.  We only ever really have ourselves and we can only ever really rely on ourselves…

The Expectations of Others, Has No Place in Happiness!  Time and time again, I have fully believed what someone else has said to me or promised me, only to be greatly disappointed when they do not hold true to their promises.  Why is it so hard to NOT have Expectations? How can one really stop having expectations, when they were told their entire life to have them?  Act right, because the world expects you too!  Why couldn’t I have been raised and taught to only rely on myself?  That would of been a huge help in life…

We create our own reality, by the thoughts we have and the things we voice.  I firmly believe this to be true.  I repeat every day over and over again, “Peace, Love, Happiness and Joy”. When one is happy, everything else is easier to handle.  I have seen this to be true myself.  Even my chronic pain is easier to handle when I am Happy!  We think others will make us happy, when in reality, only WE can bring happiness into our lives…

Everything in life is a choice.  Yes, choices of others can effect us, but in our own lives we make choices constantly.  When to get out of bed, what to wear, when to eat, etc.  of course, things can happen that we did not choose, like a child dying or cancer.  There enlies the profound words of, “Everything Happens for a reason!”  This, I also believe, to be very true.  Sometimes we never know the reason and other times we do.  The reason could have been for another person or something greater than we can know in this life.  This is where your own spiritual beliefs come into play.  I believe we are our souls, not these bodies.  That we are just renting them for the experiences here and we go on after these bodies die.  So, what you believe can help you are hinder you…

We can only truly control ourselves!  No one else!  We can control if we choose to react in a positive way or a negative way to things.  We control our own choices.  We can NEVER control another, just ourselves.  We should not even try to control anyone else, this also leads to disappointment.  Because thinking you can control someone or change them, is an expectation!  All we can do is continue on in the very moment we are in and know that this is our own life.  Try your best to choose Happiness and always come from a place of Love…

I would really like to know your opinions of what I have written here.  Please feel free to comment them to me………….

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Comfort in Your Own Skin…

I am passing on what I have learned in my 46 years of life.  If I had a question about the opposite sex, I always asked many of them, to come up with what the general consensus had to say.  I learned many things…

1.  When you are completely comfortable in your own skin, no matter the size, men find you very attractive!  I have known several men who were married to very beautiful and fit woman, yet they cheated with woman who were the complete opposite.  Why?  Because the women the cheated with were comfortable in their own skin and put out a vibe that they are sexy just the way they are!  One of the main things being, they would take off their clothes and walk around without a care in the world and that is very sexy to a man!

2.  When you let go and completely love yourself just as you are right now, a light shines within you that others can see.  We HAVE to Love ourselves completely and be comfortable with who and what we are!  No more worrying what others may think of you, because all that matters is what you think of you!  Personally, I for years, worried what others thought and I had a wall up around me to keep everyone out.

3.  We can only truly trust ourself, so stop having expectations of other people.  When you stop the expectations, you find yourself with much less worry and frustration.  This is difficult to accomplish, but not impossible!  You have to remind yourself that you have absolutely NO control over anyone other than yourself, so what someone else does is out of your control, no matter what you do!  You have to come to a place where you rely on yourself and know that no matter what anyone else does, you will be just fine, because you love yourself and depend on yourself fully.  If someone cancels a date or doesn’t show up for an appointment,  it can be frustrating, but we have no control over what someone else does.  We do, however, have complete control over how we react to things!   You can prepare for a date, but do not put everything into that person showing up.  Have a plan of what you will do for you, if they do not show up.  You are a beautiful spiritual being and your own happiness is the most important thing in the world!

4.  Be your own best friend.  That’s right, you can be your own best friend, treat yourself as you would a best friend.  Personally, I talk to myself and comfort myself often!  Again, we have complete control over ourselves and no one else.  So be there for yourself, treat yourself very good.  Pamper yourself.  Love yourself unconditionally!

5.  Start right now!  Begin the most wonderful love affair with yourself.  Look in the mirror and smile at yourself.  Tell yourself how much you love YOU!  Repeat affirmations, which are positive phrases, that help boost your own self esteem.  Why?  Because we can not truly love another, until we truly love ourself!

Stop doing everything for everyone else and put yourself first.  You are, after all, the most important person in the world!  You are the ONLY one who can make yourself happy!  No other person can do this for you.  Eat what you love, do what you love and discover what truly makes you happy………….

  

Just under three weeks left…

In less than three weeks I will be having a complete hysterectomy. They will be also removing both ovaries and tubes. I want to make sure I write about my experience so it may benefit someone else one day.

This Thursday I have my Pre-op with the anesthesiologist and his nurse, as well as a chest X-ray and EKG. So far I found out from my doctor that will be doing the surgery, that it have to stop taking my muscle relaxer, baclofen, and ibuprofen or Aleve ten days before the surgery. The anesthesiologist may have other things I cannot take as well.

They will call me the Friday before my surgery and tell me what time to be there on that Monday for my surgery. The day before my surgery I am allowed a light breakfast followed by the entire day of a clear liquid diet and at 3pm I have to drink a bottle of magnesium citrate. I chose the purple flavored one and put it in the fridge, because it is better cold. Then around 9pm I have to give myself a fleet enema.

My blood and urine tests are in and I have immediate results because I set up for everything and my chart to be online where I can access it. All of those tests were normal or negative for things, except one was high for Lymph ABS. I have not had a call from the doctor so I assume all is ok with the one thing being not in normal range. I have had mono twice in my life as well as fifth disease that stayed with me for over four months. Those may be the cause or I could have some type if immune deficiency. I won’t know until I speak with the doctor in regards to this.

I went Friday to see my pain doctor who insisted I see him monthly until my surgery and he was not even there when I showed up for my appointment. His PA ended up sick and unable to see me so I called and scheduled to come back in August after my recovery from the surgery. I am not scheduling any appointments at all for the month of July so I don’t have to go anywhere while I recover, but I was told I will have to see my surgeon on week after my surgery. I was also told I will be staying two nights in the hospital.

I have started some lists. A list of the things I need to get done before surgery and a list of all the things everyone here needs to do while I recover for surgery. 6-8 weeks is the recovery time. I also made a list of things I need to bring with me to the hospital, like toothbrush and paste, loose nightgown and underwear, etc…………

Day 2, Have NO Expectations…

I have a tendency to expect things of others. This always sets me up to be disappointed or hurt. We cannot control anyone but ourselves, so having any expectations of someone else is always going to be a negative place to be.

When you can live life from your heart with only love and you no longer have expectations of others, that is when you find a happy and peaceful place to be. It is fine to ask someone to do something for you, but never expect it to be done. Ask and if they do not do it, take care of it yourself without attaching negative thoughts to it. The most important thing is to keep your thoughts positive and from love.

When someone upsets us or does something hurtful, our perception of it means the difference between us feeling negative or choosing to see the positive in the situation. I was very hurt and angry when my second husband cheated on me and left. I found myself repeating all sorts of negative statements. How could he do this to me? I wasted sixteen years of my life! What I needed to do at that time was change my statements. We did have love and now it is time for the relationship to end. I learned so much from my experiences with him. His choices are his own free will. I forgive him and I release him. Even when it feels like we are lying to ourselves, you need to fake it until you make it. That means say the positive things, even when you do not actually feel them. Eventually you will find yourself to be in a place where they are now true.

We need to allow ourselves to feel emotions when they come up. Do not stuff them down. Just feel them. Cry if you feel like crying. Let them flow through you. Then go on the the next emotion that you feel.

Today is a beautiful sunny day here. I am very much enjoying the quiet and not having anyone negative around me. This makes it much easier to find the positive thoughts and repeat my affirmations. I am also saying Yes to doing things instead of fearing what might happen or how bad I may hurt after. I need to embrace life and live it, enjoy it all. You never know how long you have to enjoy life, things can change as fast as you can blink your eye. So why not embrace it all and love it while it is all possible………….

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