Finding our Light/Love…

We all come here with the same purpose, to find our light within and help it grow.  Our light is our soul.  Light is Love and all thing positive are of Love.  Everything else is not of love and therefore negative.  Each and everyone of us is of the light.  We are born to this world that is full of all kinds of negativity.  We only learn from negative things.  So, life is filled with trials, tribulations and learning.  Children are very connected to the light.  The younger they are, the more they are connected.  Society plays a huge roll in masking their light.  We basically come here with amnesia of who we are and where we come from, with the common goal of remembering.  Children do not have the stress of bills and making ends meet and they are free to go with the flow of their light.

Every single thing we do is a choice.  When we wake up, what clothes we wear, what we eat, where we go, how we react to things, etc.   We either choose from the light/love or from the negative/not love.  

Nothing in this life can make you happy, only you have that ability.  No object or person can make this happen.  An object or person may feel like happiness temporarily, but that happiness is fleating and does not last.  We are the only ones with the power to create happiness for ourselves.  We only have control over ourselves.  We control the choices we make and cannot control what someone else chooses to do.  This is why so many rich people are not happy, because you cannot buy happiness.  You cannot buy anything that is of the light and love!  Money can make life easier, with less stress of paying bills and obtaining the basic needs of life.  We truly only do need food, clothing and shelter.

So, you focus on your very own light/love.  You grow your light until it fills you completely and then you can help others find and grow there own light.  This is why it feels so good to help someone else, because that comes from love and only love can lift us up!  

How does one do this?  Know that life here on earth is not real.  The only thing that is real is love/light.  You take time every single day, if even just ten minutes, and you breathe slowly, deeply and relax your physical body.  The more you do this, the easier it becomes to relax.  Guided meditations are very good for beginners.  They walk you through the steps of breathing and relaxing your body.  There are many out there, just find the one that seems to click for you.  

Being in the present moment… This is very important.  Even if you only find the time to do this during a meal or during a break, do it!  You focus only on what is going on right now!  Notice your breath, what do you hear?  What do you smell?  What do you taste?  What does something feel like?  Using your five senses you explore the here and now.  Not the past or the future, just what is going on right now.  When you have thoughts enter your mind of the past or the future, anything that is not right now, acknowledge them and return to the present moment!  This will happen, often, at first.  You are teaching yourself how to be in this very moment without worries or concerns of what has happened or what might happen.  Because reality is ONLY what is going on right NOW!  

The key is to train your body to relax and focus on the here and now only.  Once you do this, you can begin to find out who your really are.  Not what someone else wants you to be.  What is fun for you?  For me, I actually enjoy cleaning and doing crafts.  Learn about yourself as you would a new friend.  You are your own best friend and you are never alone!  Build a loving relationship with yourself!  This is how you find happiness.  It has always been within you!  Trust, honor and cherish yourself, as you would do with a best friend.  Choose always from your light/LOVE and you create a beautiful future for yourself and anyone around you………….

Moment of Truth Choices…

When we are faced with major life changing decisions we often have to make then quickly and emotionally. We tend to either use our head and base our choice on facts or we go with our gut feeling and base our choice on our heart. A combination of both is ideal, but when you are in a critical moment and emotions are flowing, it is hard to balance our decisions out.

Here is a list of what we need to ask ourselves before we make these life changing decisions:

1. Weigh your options by carefully examining the pros and cons.
2. Gather input from people you trust and who may have relevant knowledge or experience on the topic.
3. Listen to the wisdom of your inner voice. What is your gut telling you to do?
4. Consider how making this decision will affect your friends and family.
5. Does deciding one way or the other demand that you compromise your values or principles in any way?
6. What advice would you give your best friend or a family member if they had to make this decision?
(Obtained from the website:

Every single thing in our life is a choice. We have simple choices to make like what clothes to wear or what we will eat. We have hard choices to make like should I have this surgery or should I take this job. Every choice we make creates what our life is. The decisions that are hard to make or the ones that are life changing/Moment of truth choices are the ones that can either positively or negatively change our life ahead of us. Some things are out of our control, yet how we allow ourselves to be affected by them also creates our future life.

When dealing with mental illness it is even harder to know what the right choice is for us. Depression causes all kinds of negative emotions and can cause us to make incorrect choices in the heat of a moment. We just have to make ourselves Stop and take in a couple of deep and cleansing breathes, so we can be more clear in our choices. No matter how positive you are, when you have a mental disorder, your going to have bad days. We have to learn to go with the flow and not fight the bad days. Allow them to unfold and move on.

I am continuing on with making myself accomplish some sort of chore each day after I fully wake up and have medication working to help with my pain levels. This occupies my mind and that is so important in dealing with negative things that affect us. I also feel accomplished when a task is finally finished and having things clean and in there place also helps my mind feel better. Yesterday I cleaned my bedroom and washed my sheets. Today, I am going to try to tackle my bathroom. Getting started is the hardest part for me. Once I am in the mode I can usually stay there as long as I am mindful and take breaks so I do not create even more pain for me to deal with.

I am still waiting to find out when my surgery is going to be. Hopefully, I will know by Wednesday. Then I can plan accordingly for all that needs to be done before I am laid up for two months. It is absolutely beautiful out this morning. In the 70’s and the humidity is low. Enjoying it while I can………….


Isn’t it funny how when we are kids we want to make all our own choices and decisions. We don’t listen to our parents. Now, I find myself asking my mother what I should do all too often. I do not want to make choices or decisions anymore. I want someone else to handle it. I am overwhelmed and stressed to the point that I know I must find a way to relax and soon!

My adult kids go into it again. My son refuses to watch my grandson any longer. I don’t know if I should try to watch him myself or not. Actually, I do know, I cannot do it. I am already having trouble driving her to and from work. Though, It just feels so wrong to make her have to quit her job. She cannot afford to pay a regular babysitter. She pays my son $2/hr. And then doesn’t have much left afterwards, less than what she paid out for babysitting even. My son would watch him no problem, if she leaves and doesn’t come back, but leaves her son here again.

Her attitude is horrible. No one would want to deal with her the way she is, but at work she is completely different. She is an alcoholic too. I fear her taking off with my grandson, because she can be violent. She is very childish! I am so tired of being in the middle of this crap. Everyone wants her gone and they constantly bomb me with it. She has to be severely bipolar because she goes from one extreme to the next is a matter of seconds.

I do know that I have been so overly stressed out that I get double vision, dizzy and sick. That has to change before my surgery or I won’t heal and I will get sick. I have gained 8 pounds in the last two weeks of this crap! Even though I track all my food and I have a band that tracks my movements and it says I burn off more than I eat. That right there is STRESS!

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I am looking for everyone’s point of view here and what you all think would be my best course of action. The stress is making it impossible for me to think. So, please post away with your thoughts………….

You Have To Want To Change…

One thing is for sure, we will never change a single thing in our lives if we do not fully want it to change. When we get to the point in life that we want things to be different and we are ready to put forth the effort to make our lives better, that is when you know you are ready. If you think you want change in your life, but you are unwilling to put in the work or you keep holding on to an old pattern, then you are not ready.

Our minds are very powerful. We have the ability to put our mind on what ever we want to do and make anything we want happen. This is how an addict can one day stop using and never touch the drug again. We have to want the change fully and then keep our mind on the outcome we desire. We really can do anything we put our minds too. However, if we do not fully want the change, then we will not be successful!

First of all, you have to decide what you really want. I wanted to do what ever possible to create a happier life for myself. Happiness is found within ourselves and no where else. I have many bad habits, like negative thinking and excessive worrying. So I knew that was where I had to start. In order to be happy, we must work on the negative issues in our own life. How we react to things and how we speak to others and listen is important. We can only change ourselves. Knowing that is the most important thing. We have no control over ANYONE other than ourselves. So give up what ever control you think you have, because you don’t really have it. If you want a situation to be different, then you have to change how you react to it.

Finding a place to start. For me, I knew that it takes 21 days to form a habit, so I would have to do what I wanted to become a habit for me, every single day for three weeks. I was lucky enough to be able to go stay with my parents for this time. In an environment that did not have negativity in it. I read several books prior to my stay with my parents, so I could get an understanding of how to incorporate positive thoughts into my life. Every single day while at my parents house I did the following:

Reflected on emotions and feelings I was having as soon as I woke up.

– this means to identify the emotion I felt, give it a label and explore it. For instance, one morning I felt anger. Then I asked myself why I was feeling angry. I discovered it was due to the level of pain I was in, so I reminded myself that this happens sometimes and being angry was not going to change it, but rather, make it difficult for me to have a good day.

Read, out loud, a list of positive affirmations.

– whether you believe the positive affirmations or not, it is important to say them out loud every day and over time you will discover that you do believe them. Stating positive things as if they are already true. I AM at Peace! I AM Happy!

Paid close attention to my thoughts and when they went to the negative I quickly acknowledge the thought, but did not accept it as my own and replaced it with a positive thought instead.

– it is vitally important to pay attention to our thoughts. This is how we can catch negative thoughts and change them. Once you form the habit of doing this on a daily basis, it becomes much easier to see when negative thoughts are floating around your mind.

Wrote in my personal journal.

– writing in a personal journal is very healing and it allows you to go back and see where you were and how far you have come. Not to mention, you can remember events this way as well. It is a healing thing to do.

Said Yes to getting out of the house when ever possible.

– I had gotten to the point in life that I felt so bad so often that I just stayed home and hide in my room and I needed to get out of the house, even if it caused my pain to flare up. Getting out of the house is extremely important, even if it is just for a walk.

Wrote in my blog daily, reflecting on the positive things.

– I discovered that writing in my blog about what I was doing and learning was capturing many more people and I felt I was important once again. I noticed how much I liked reading positive things and I wanted to focus my thoughts on the positive and not the negative when ever possible.

Took an hour daily to meditate or just relax while deeply breathing.

– this time is special. It is just for us and we need to make some time just to allow our bodies to relax. Even if it is only ten minutes a day, do it for yourself.

Allowed myself to rest when I felt tired or in too much pain.

– not saying negative things to myself when I had to go lay down due to my pain levels and allowing myself to rest when it was needed. We say entirely way too many negative things to ourselves. We should only be stating positive and caring things to ourselves.

Not responding to issues immediately. Taking the time to breathe and choose a more positive approach.

– if we speak before we think, we often say things we regret or that create more drama. So take a few deep breaths and really discover what you want to add to the situation. Ask yourself if what you are going to say will help the person or make it worse. Is your statement negative or is it positive? Always come from a place of love and reject any negative thoughts or words.

There will be days that are a struggle, but we can always choose what we say and how we react. Just because we are having a bad day, does not mean we need to make other people have a bad day as well………….


I have been back home for 5/6 days now. While I was at my parents house I went to bed at 10:00 pm every night like they did, I would read for about an hour and I woke between 6-7:00am every morning. I had a lot more energy while I was there as well. Since being back home I have quickly noticed that I am sleeping ten hours a night and feeling dragged down with a lack of energy. Even though I am still going to bed at the same time.

The main reason for this is my parents house is peaceful and calm without negativity flowing through it. There house is open and light fills the inside all day long. My house, even with all the curtains open, is pretty dark. So, I need to do something in order to change the feel of my home to a more positive one.

I will perform a cleansing of my home today. I do this with sage smudge sticks and I go through the entire house encouraging negativity to leave through the open window. Starting at the front door and working clock wise throughout every room through the entire house and ending when I return to the front door. I also mix sea salt and water and sprinkle it in every corner of the house while I pray for positivity to flow through my home.

I usually do this at every change of season to encourage stagnate energy to leave my house. I need to do this more often when my daughter is here, because she brings a lot of negativity to my home. Since this weekend is finally sunny here and in the 70’s, it is the perfect time to do a cleansing of negativity.

After the initial cleansing, I want to keep my personal space flowing with positive energy. So I place a bowl of sea salt out in my bedroom to capture any negativity. This salt must be thrown out in the out door garbage once a week. Salt collects negative energy and you do not want to use or keep salt that is charge with negativity. I do this on Sunday nights since the garbage is picked up on Monday mornings. Then I thoroughly clean my bedroom. Organize the space and put everything where it belongs.

We may not be able to control other people or how they act, but we certainly can do something about the negative energy in our home and we can make sure our personal space is kept neat, clean, tidy and cleansed of any negative energy. I have found I am having a very difficult time dealing with the negativity I feel in my home, so I know it is way past time to cleanse my space.

We do have control over many things in our lives. We control every single thing we choose to do. From when we get out of bed to what clothes we wear. If we leave the house and when we go to bed. Every single thing in our lives is a choice. Sometimes choices can feel difficult. That is when we need to take a few moments to breathe deeply and look for which choice comes from the heart and love. If there is any fear or negativity attached with a choice, then we need to choose a different one. This can make choosing a bit easier in many cases, however, there are some choices in life that all options seem to have some form of negativity attached to them. When this happens, we need to take the time to really explore our options.

For instance, a hard choice for me is always when one of my adult children want to come back home. I know that allowing them to be here will benefit them, but it will also cause a lot of drama and negativity in my home. If I choose not to let them come home, I tend to worry a lot and have fear for them. After all of these years, I can firmly say that the best choice for me is the one with less negativity. So how do we choose which choice has the least amount of negativity? Well, we start out by making a pros and cons list. For me, this list shows which choice will cause the most negativity for me. Sometimes though, I have a pretty even list. Then you have to ask yourself which choice are you able to make work for your own well being. Can you meditate every day to find balance while the negative person is in your home? Will they follow the rules you have set in place to keep your home peaceful? Instead of asking yourself what is better for them, ask yourself what is better for you. We tend to put everyone else’s needs before our own and that is where we need to make a change. Our needs are the number one thing we need to focus on, in order to achieve a happier life.

I have made many choices in my life without stopping and looking at what was best for me. Now is the time to change all of that. We are the most important thing in our lives. Start today and begin choosing what is best for you and not anyone else………….