One thing is for sure, we will never change a single thing in our lives if we do not fully want it to change. When we get to the point in life that we want things to be different and we are ready to put forth the effort to make our lives better, that is when you know you are ready. If you think you want change in your life, but you are unwilling to put in the work or you keep holding on to an old pattern, then you are not ready.
Our minds are very powerful. We have the ability to put our mind on what ever we want to do and make anything we want happen. This is how an addict can one day stop using and never touch the drug again. We have to want the change fully and then keep our mind on the outcome we desire. We really can do anything we put our minds too. However, if we do not fully want the change, then we will not be successful!
First of all, you have to decide what you really want. I wanted to do what ever possible to create a happier life for myself. Happiness is found within ourselves and no where else. I have many bad habits, like negative thinking and excessive worrying. So I knew that was where I had to start. In order to be happy, we must work on the negative issues in our own life. How we react to things and how we speak to others and listen is important. We can only change ourselves. Knowing that is the most important thing. We have no control over ANYONE other than ourselves. So give up what ever control you think you have, because you don’t really have it. If you want a situation to be different, then you have to change how you react to it.
Finding a place to start. For me, I knew that it takes 21 days to form a habit, so I would have to do what I wanted to become a habit for me, every single day for three weeks. I was lucky enough to be able to go stay with my parents for this time. In an environment that did not have negativity in it. I read several books prior to my stay with my parents, so I could get an understanding of how to incorporate positive thoughts into my life. Every single day while at my parents house I did the following:
Reflected on emotions and feelings I was having as soon as I woke up.
– this means to identify the emotion I felt, give it a label and explore it. For instance, one morning I felt anger. Then I asked myself why I was feeling angry. I discovered it was due to the level of pain I was in, so I reminded myself that this happens sometimes and being angry was not going to change it, but rather, make it difficult for me to have a good day.
Read, out loud, a list of positive affirmations.
– whether you believe the positive affirmations or not, it is important to say them out loud every day and over time you will discover that you do believe them. Stating positive things as if they are already true. I AM at Peace! I AM Happy!
Paid close attention to my thoughts and when they went to the negative I quickly acknowledge the thought, but did not accept it as my own and replaced it with a positive thought instead.
– it is vitally important to pay attention to our thoughts. This is how we can catch negative thoughts and change them. Once you form the habit of doing this on a daily basis, it becomes much easier to see when negative thoughts are floating around your mind.
Wrote in my personal journal.
– writing in a personal journal is very healing and it allows you to go back and see where you were and how far you have come. Not to mention, you can remember events this way as well. It is a healing thing to do.
Said Yes to getting out of the house when ever possible.
– I had gotten to the point in life that I felt so bad so often that I just stayed home and hide in my room and I needed to get out of the house, even if it caused my pain to flare up. Getting out of the house is extremely important, even if it is just for a walk.
Wrote in my blog daily, reflecting on the positive things.
– I discovered that writing in my blog about what I was doing and learning was capturing many more people and I felt I was important once again. I noticed how much I liked reading positive things and I wanted to focus my thoughts on the positive and not the negative when ever possible.
Took an hour daily to meditate or just relax while deeply breathing.
– this time is special. It is just for us and we need to make some time just to allow our bodies to relax. Even if it is only ten minutes a day, do it for yourself.
Allowed myself to rest when I felt tired or in too much pain.
– not saying negative things to myself when I had to go lay down due to my pain levels and allowing myself to rest when it was needed. We say entirely way too many negative things to ourselves. We should only be stating positive and caring things to ourselves.
Not responding to issues immediately. Taking the time to breathe and choose a more positive approach.
– if we speak before we think, we often say things we regret or that create more drama. So take a few deep breaths and really discover what you want to add to the situation. Ask yourself if what you are going to say will help the person or make it worse. Is your statement negative or is it positive? Always come from a place of love and reject any negative thoughts or words.
There will be days that are a struggle, but we can always choose what we say and how we react. Just because we are having a bad day, does not mean we need to make other people have a bad day as well………….