Christmas Vacation…

I am currently at my parents on vacation. I arrived here on the 14th and I do not go back home until around the 3rd of January. I brought my kitty with me that sleeps with me every night. She did not like the car ride at all, but she seems to be happy here. I am always happy here. Though I have been very lazy.

My sister & my nephew that live in Florida, my aunt & uncle, my cousin and his girlfriend and my moms cousin plus her friend will all be here tomorrow (Christmas Eve) for a get together and a big meal. This is nice for me, since I am normally home alone on all holidays. I always feel like I am “out of sight, out of mind” with my family. I don’t even have a friend near my anymore. Just stuck at home alone. I do not like to be around many people, due to my panic disorder and I do not have a vehicle to go anywhere. I miss having a good friend nearby very much.

For years now, Christmas doesn’t feel like any special day for me. All holidays are now just another day. Same old crap, different day! I miss the special feeling I always had for the holidays. Being an adult sucks! Then again, my entire life is boring and not fun. I can’t even remember the last time I felt real happiness… Every day is the same, with me just trying to make it through the day with the least amount of pain possible.

I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

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