Being in the Here & Now…

One thing we must learn is how to be in the present moment.  This takes practice!  For a while, the mind will keep bringing up thoughts of the past or even the future.  The past is over and cannot be changed.  The future has not happened.  

Each day, take what ever time you possibly can to practice being mindful.  In the present moment.  Start by doing three deep and slow cleansing breaths.  Relax your body!  Then, just pay attention to what is going on right now!  Involving your five senses.  What do you hear?  What do you see?  What do you smell?  What do you taste?  What do you feel?  

Every time a thought of past or future pops into your mind, acknowledge that thought, then tell yourself that is the past or has not happened yet and return to being in the present moment.  At first, your mind will bring up thoughts a lot!  Be persistent, you can over come those thoughts.  After all, your are the one in control of yourself.  

You can do ANYTHING you put your mind to and with practice.  We are beautiful creatures of the light/love.  After I almost died and had to have a very large surgery to save my life, I had no balance or muscle left in my body.  I took it one day at a time and I would spend a few minutes just trying to stand on one foot.  At first, I had to hold on to a chair, but after a while I was able to let go of the chair and finally, I could stand on one foot for a long time.  This is true for anything you want to obtain.  Start small and give it your best each and every day!  There is nothing you cannot do!

Here is an exercise for when you feel down, that I have found to be helpful.  Look in the mirror, smile at yourself!  Smiling actually releases chemicals in the brain that help us feel better and looking at yourself as you force a smile on your face is pretty funny!  The next thing you know, you are smiling without even trying to smile.  

Starting your day on a positive loving note is the best way to begin.  Be sure you get enough sleep!  Take in at least three deep and slow breaths to cleanse your body.  Think of things you are grateful for and say them out loud!  Still feeling down?  Go to the mirror and smile at yourself!  Exercise is also a great way to release feel good chemicals in the body.  If you have never exercised before, then just do some slow stretches or even basic yoga poses.  Taking a walk is one of the best ways to get exercise into your life.  I think walking is the number one form of exercise.  Try to take in those three deep slow breaths several times a day.  Be sure to practice being in the present moment!  You will not be disappointedly!  It is amazing what happens after you practice this on a daily basis and you get past the thoughts from popping up in your mind.  Nature is an amazing and beautiful place…………


Finding our Light/Love…

We all come here with the same purpose, to find our light within and help it grow.  Our light is our soul.  Light is Love and all thing positive are of Love.  Everything else is not of love and therefore negative.  Each and everyone of us is of the light.  We are born to this world that is full of all kinds of negativity.  We only learn from negative things.  So, life is filled with trials, tribulations and learning.  Children are very connected to the light.  The younger they are, the more they are connected.  Society plays a huge roll in masking their light.  We basically come here with amnesia of who we are and where we come from, with the common goal of remembering.  Children do not have the stress of bills and making ends meet and they are free to go with the flow of their light.

Every single thing we do is a choice.  When we wake up, what clothes we wear, what we eat, where we go, how we react to things, etc.   We either choose from the light/love or from the negative/not love.  

Nothing in this life can make you happy, only you have that ability.  No object or person can make this happen.  An object or person may feel like happiness temporarily, but that happiness is fleating and does not last.  We are the only ones with the power to create happiness for ourselves.  We only have control over ourselves.  We control the choices we make and cannot control what someone else chooses to do.  This is why so many rich people are not happy, because you cannot buy happiness.  You cannot buy anything that is of the light and love!  Money can make life easier, with less stress of paying bills and obtaining the basic needs of life.  We truly only do need food, clothing and shelter.

So, you focus on your very own light/love.  You grow your light until it fills you completely and then you can help others find and grow there own light.  This is why it feels so good to help someone else, because that comes from love and only love can lift us up!  

How does one do this?  Know that life here on earth is not real.  The only thing that is real is love/light.  You take time every single day, if even just ten minutes, and you breathe slowly, deeply and relax your physical body.  The more you do this, the easier it becomes to relax.  Guided meditations are very good for beginners.  They walk you through the steps of breathing and relaxing your body.  There are many out there, just find the one that seems to click for you.  

Being in the present moment… This is very important.  Even if you only find the time to do this during a meal or during a break, do it!  You focus only on what is going on right now!  Notice your breath, what do you hear?  What do you smell?  What do you taste?  What does something feel like?  Using your five senses you explore the here and now.  Not the past or the future, just what is going on right now.  When you have thoughts enter your mind of the past or the future, anything that is not right now, acknowledge them and return to the present moment!  This will happen, often, at first.  You are teaching yourself how to be in this very moment without worries or concerns of what has happened or what might happen.  Because reality is ONLY what is going on right NOW!  

The key is to train your body to relax and focus on the here and now only.  Once you do this, you can begin to find out who your really are.  Not what someone else wants you to be.  What is fun for you?  For me, I actually enjoy cleaning and doing crafts.  Learn about yourself as you would a new friend.  You are your own best friend and you are never alone!  Build a loving relationship with yourself!  This is how you find happiness.  It has always been within you!  Trust, honor and cherish yourself, as you would do with a best friend.  Choose always from your light/LOVE and you create a beautiful future for yourself and anyone around you………….

I spent 24+ hours in Silence…

For the entire day Friday, I spent it in complete silence without any electronics.  I don’t use electronics much anyway, so that was not hard.  I was practicing being in the present moment.  I had many times I had to  acknowledge thoughts and release them, but I also had times were I was just completely still and silent even in my thoughts.  

I did find that my pain gets so great that I need to distract my mind.  I spent years finding ways to keep my mind busy and away from the pain.  What I did was, draw and write in a journal.  I had a few hours of pain so great I did not think I would make it.  So, have constructive ways to distract your mind is important when you suffer from chronic pain.

I like the silence and I like going with the flow, without time!  I chose a rock out of my yard, a decent size and weight, I carry this with me at all times and when I think a negative thought I push it into the Rock.  This is a beneficial practice.  It took me a couple of years to learn to live without time as much as possible.  My anxiety and panic would always get out of control when I had appointments, etc.  what I did was, schedule the appointment in my tablet and on Sunday every week I check for any appointments.  I set an alarm for when I need to be up and ready for the appointment.  This has reduced my anxiety down to a 24 hour period instead of days on end.  I try very hard to only have one appointment a week, as I know I will become agitated and need to recover.  I rarely drive, unless it is some place very close to home, like the grocery store and my general Doctor.  These are coping techniques I put in place to get through life on a more tolerable level.  Even if I am going to go on a date, I have a great deal of anxiety and tension.  This has lead me to choose not to even bother with dating or looking for a partner.  I need to completely focus on me and learn to love me completely.  I never thought I would see the day that I did not feel I needed a man in my life.  I have reached that place and I like it very much.  No other person can make you happy, only you have that power over yourself.

We all have to find what works for ourselves.  What helps us get through each day of our lives.  Back in 1995, when the panic attacks began out of nowhere, I was in great disbelief for months.  When I finally accepted what was happening was Panic, I began to read everything I could find on the disorder.   I decided that meditation was the route to take.  I found a few guided meditations that I could listen to and I began a journey on learning to meditate.  Meditation is extremely helpful with panic and anxiety disorders.  The Panic came like clock work every two years and lasted for 6 months.  I would also become agoraphobic during this time!  I could not leave my home, so I would begin meditation daily once again.  After 6 months, it would stop as quickly as it began, but while it was occurring I felt very ill 24/7!  Much like having the flu that never went away.  The panic episodes hit me every two years, 1995, 1997, 1999, 2001… In 2001, I asked to be put on Paxil as it was the one medication that was supposed to help panic.  It did help, but I still had 6 months of panic, feeling ill and agoraphobia.  It was like taking the edge off of it all.  Then in 2003, my son died in a car accident.  I was so depressed, I did not get out of the bed for months.  I immediately put myself in counseling weekly and group therapy weekly.  I was put on several different medications until I found what worked decent enough.  Xanax, Effexor and Trazadone.  I was far from cured, but I was able to get myself to my appointments (which were only a mile away) and I began seeking what things I could do to help myself get through the nightmare of my life.  Little did I know, the nightmare had just begun!

2006 my husband cheated, got on drugs and left.  I lost my dream home and had to move back to GA where I still had a small house.  Here in GA, they refused to give me the Xanax , so I have been on Ativan which is not quick acting.  I remarried, it was great for two years, then his true self came out, a liar & thief!  He left and came back after 6 weeks in 2009.  I was beat by a gang going after my neighbor in 2010. Then the chronic pain began and never left!  I was in a wheelchair, could not walk.  Finally found a doctor that helped enough to get me walking again.  Last year I had a cancer scare, a hysterectomy, became deathly ill and had to have a huge surgery to save my life and my husband cheated and left me.  So here I am, trying to survive on $810 a month disability with a mortgage and I do not have enough funds to cover the electric bill.  No place here can help me, I really miss southern IL!  But I am grateful for my home and my pets and if I have to I will live without electricity………….
My Rock!   
And ME…