April 2015

I have been struggling with increased pain recently.  Living here with the negativity and daily stress does affect how I feel.  I am counting down the days to when I leave to visit family up north for five weeks.  My daughter wakes and every single day she immediately begins yelling at her son.  I have repeatedly told her that I cannot take that anymore, yet she still does it.  They all seem to think they should be rewarded for when they actually do something around here, yet I am supposed to treat them like adults, as if we are all just roommates.  I am strongly considering moving up north.  I feel so much better out of this environment, instead of feeling good until someone wakes up and starts yelling.  This feels like the life is being sucked out of me!

I have never had my own life.  I became pregnant and then married at the age of 16 and I have been married three times.  Always went from one husband right to the next one.  This time I have stopped that and I have stayed single.  I tried dating, but found all of the men to be of great disappointment.  So instead, I have been working on myself and I go to the gym three times a week.  I am ready for my own life now.  I deserve my own life.  I have raised my kids and taken care of everyone else ever since I was 16 years old.  I am now 45 years old.  

I do not want to loose my house here, in order to keep it I have to pay the mortgage, that leaves me with little money to take care of myself though.  That is what has been stopping me from just leaving.  Plus, my grandson needs a stable home.

Our minds are very powerful.  What ever you choose to do, you can master!  It is much easier to accomplish when you are in an environment of peace though.  When I took three weeks and went to my parents house, I was in peace and I saw the stress melt off my face!  I began to feel very good about myself as well.  That is the key to our own happiness, our environment!

I do believe I am going to have a difficult time coming back home from my trip up north.  Maybe that will finally be the push that makes me choose myself for once!

Pictures of me now…


With my daughter   

With my grandson  


My Home-made Laundry Detergent Recipe…

I just made a new batch of the laundry detergent I have been using for years now.  Not only is it much cheaper and safeR for the environment, but it works better than the Tide I used to use.

RECIPE: (per batch)

1 Box of Borax

1 Box of Super Washing Soda

1 (4 lb) Box of Baking Soda

1 Container of Oxy Clean, around 2 lbs. (for a double batch I use a 5 lb container)

2 Bars of Laundry Soap (Fels-Naptha or Ivory)

1 bottle of Scent Booster (like Downy Crystals or Arm & Hammer)

You want to mix all of these ingredients thoroughly.  

1st, grate your laundry soap bars or you can also use Ivory Soap Bars. 2 bars per batch

I take a 5 Gallon Bucket with a lid (an old paint bucket) and I pour half of the box of Borax in, then half of the box of Super Washing Soda in, Then half of the box of Baking Soda in.  I mix this well, then pour half the bottle of scent booster and half of the container of Oxy Clean in.  Mix well, then mix in one bar of grated soap.  I make a double batch every time, which fills the 5 gallon bucket 2/3 of the way full.  I have once made a triple batch, but it did not leave me enough mixing room in the bucket.  I like to mix the double batch by doing half of each container, mix well, then repeat.  Place the cover on the container and it stays fresh and dry.  I use a smaller half gallon bucket, which I fill with this laundry detergent and keep it over my washing machine.  I also use a coffee scoop, which is 1 Tablespoon to add the detergent to my wash.  Always start by adding water to the washer, then the detergent, so it will dissolve.  Just 2 Tablespoons of detergent per load of laundry.  Then add your clothes.

Per batch, this laundry detergent costs around $30.  So, I spend $60 to make a double batch that lasts us (a family of 5) for 6 months.

You only need to use 2 Tablespoons of this laundry detergent per load.  If you have heavy soiled items you can use up to 4 Tablespoons.  This is also great for the newer washing machines or the ancient old ones too.  

I make a pre treater by taking 2 Tablespoons o f the detergent and dissolving that in hot water then pace it into a squirt bottle.  When you have a tough stain, squirt it on and use a tooth brush to remove the stain.