After My Vacation…

The three weeks I spent in the perfect Peace at my parents house was very nice.  I did not once have a horrible splitting headache and my pain levels where much better for the most part.  I know, for a fact, that stress contributes a lot towards the level of my pain.  I felt care free and I had zero stress while I was there, except for when my son informed me of the things my daughter was doing.  I also, meditated every single day.  I did not worry about how I was going to obtain things I needed or if my kids were going to take care of something.  I also went to the gym with my mom once a week while I was there.  I saw how much going to the gym helped me physically and mentally.  Even though I could not do a whole lot, it still benefited me in many ways.

I was home for three days before the stress and worry had its grips on me again.  Last night I had one of the worst headaches I have ever had in my life.  It ruined my time out with a great person.  I have NO life here.  My life is this…. Get up, wait to feel good enough to function, do my chores, watch my grandson and go to bed.  Just trying to fit in dating seems near impossible, because I have to watch my grandson while my daughter works and she has to use my vehicle.  She thinks the entire world revolves around her.  I told her I do not have a life and she said, “Yes you do!”  I raised my kids, this is supposed to be my time, to actually have a life I want, not dng for everyone else.  I woke in a great mood the last two days and my daughter single handedly ruined them.  When she wakes up, she starts yelling and cussing.  Sounds horrible.  The stress instantly rips through my entire being.  She says crap that is just not right!  I also have not had the time to meditate.  I have to change this!

I joined the gym near here.  I MUST make sure I get to the gym and meditate.  The gym offers massage and tanning so I can sneak in meditation there too.  The only draw back is that my ex goes to that gym, so I am hoping I go when he doesn’t.  I don’t care if he is there, but he has to have a fit about stupid things.  My plan is to go three times a week.  Work out, do the massage and then lay in the tanning bed.  I want my entire body tan and it is just not safe to lay out here naked…lol!

I have met a couple of Guys and went on a few dates.  One of them I do like and will see more of.  It is funny how when Spring hits there are a lot of guys interested.  I just want a decent boyfriend to do things with and know I have another half.  I do not want him to live with me!  I really wish my friend from high school lived here, he is perfect for me!  I guess I need to just focus on me… Meaning, I need to go to the gym and meditate and not worry about having a boyfriend or anything else.  I really don’t have the time for it.

I need to build my own life.  I also need to delegate chores to the others in this house.  It is time for spring cleaning.  I should not be the only one doing everything!  I know when I was away from here, I felt at peace.  Now I spend too much time wanting to leave and find my peace again………….  

      

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Day 7 away from the Stress…

I have fully enjoyed the complete peace and quiet here.  No reason to tense up and be on edge.  My son, however, informed me yesterday that my daughter has been making some very bad choices.  I am not sure why, when I am away from home, she does this.  So, I was pretty tense and stressed out yesterday when I found out she had grabbed my grandson and choked him.  Luckily, my son intervened and stopped it.  I am most likely going to have to have her removed again.  If she would just stop doing what ever drug she can get her hands on, I am sure she would improve greatly!  Enough of that, I am away from home so I don’t have to deal with those things…

I spent an hour doing a deep meditation yesterday.  I always want to stay in there, my entire body so relaxed and it is very peaceful.  I need to get back on track of doing a deep meditation every day.  You connect with your inner self that way.  It helps in many ways, even with your physical health.

My biggest problem when it comes to men is, expectations.  I seem to always expect them to be or do things as I would, which leaves me very disappointed.  I have been focusing on this part of me and reminding myself that no one is just like me and I cannot make someone do things just because I think they should.  Let me tell you, this is a very hard thing to over come.  Though, it is the one thing that always puts me in a sad place, so loose the expectations and I will not become greatly disappointed.

I have also found it very rare to find someone I am even slightly attracted to.  I have found a couple and they have all turned out to be liars…lol!  Recently, I found another one and I asked all the important questions, in which he responded very well too.  So, I chose to give this a go.  For me, I will only be with one man at a time.  I put all I have into it and focus only on him.  We have a lot in common, so what is the draw back?  He is a truck driver, so I will see him once a month maybe.  Now, this can be a good thing if I can stop with the expectations.  I keep busy and I have said before how great it would be to just see my guy on the weekends or every other weekend.  With him I will only see him a couple of days a month or so.  He keeps saying how it really is hard on relationships and how he has not ever found someone who can handle it.  It is all in how you perceive things and react to them.  Keeping it all positive will be key and enjoying the time we do have together.  We text every day, so that is good.  I am even willing to go on a run with him in order to spend more time together. So, I will see where this goes.  He has one son and he is 16 years old.  I want to find the one who will be my best friend and who I can enjoy my senior years with!

Back to working on myself…  

1.  Notice and catch all negative thoughts.  Do NOt say them out loud and change them to a positive thought.

2.  Say Positive Affirmations every day!

3.  Take the time to meditate, even if it is just a 20 minute deep breathing session!

4.  Do something every day to pamper yourself!

5.  Put forth effort to look at people, be in the moment and smile!



Day 3 in Florida – My Get Away…

I arrived at my parents in Florida on Sunday.  I always find peace and quiet here and work on myself.  I spent an hour at the pool yesterday and today an hour at the gym.  I lost most of my muscle during the two surgeries and the 14 weeks I was laid up after.  I couldn’t do a whole lot, but I managed 25 minutes on a bike and two rounds of upper and lower body machines.  I did feel pretty good afterward and I still have some decent energy four hours later.  I wish I could attend a gym by my home twice a week, but I will just have to find a way to push myself to do things at home!  I hope to have a bit of a tan when I return home.  The weather here has been beautiful, though today is pretty hot with it right around 87 degrees.

Tomorrow, Thursday, will be a day I am here alone while my parents golf.  I have to do laundry and I want to sit in the sun if I can handle it for a bit.  I also need to do a long meditation.  Working on myself is one of the biggest things I do when I come down here.  I know I get disappointed all the time, because I always have expectations of people.  That is one thing I want to work on while I am here.  No expectation = no disappointments!  It is hard not to expect others to act or do the things I know I would do or the things that I do.  Everyone is different though and assuming they have the same thoughts or even the same heart is wrong.  Plus it is so very bad for me.

I read an article today on SPRING CLEAN YOUR ENERGY FIELD…

Reconnect
Call an old friend that you haven’t seen for a long time and see how they are. You don’t need to speak for long, but your words and voice have a resonance that if used wisely, can heal.

Water
Find a body of water, a stream, a pond, a lake and sit by the water. Wash your crown chakra in the water. Remember water takes the lowest spot in the teachings of the Tao and it has a strong connection to Sulis Minerva who is one of the Beings that is with us.

Nature
Take a stroll in the forest. Touch the bark of the trees, feel the moss, lean up against a tree and close your eyes, listen to the birds singing and the sounds and breath of the forest. She calms us.

Innocence
Spend time with children and give them your full attention. Their sweetness, love of small things and laughter can lighten your spirits and teach you (And when they are a bit naughty, it helps you to look at patience, love and lack of ego.

Furry Friends
Love your pets, really love them, cuddle them, look at them, care for them, take them for a walk if they need it. They have unconditional love to give. They often help us in ways we don’t always understand.

Physical
Do something physical, dance, walk, cycle, do kung fu or tai chi perhaps. Use your body, it needs to move. You can simply touch your toes, swing your arms round like a windmill and do some stretches, but make an effort…

Carry a Tune
Laugh and sing (your singing might make others laugh, but do it anyway!)

Loved Ones
Spend time with friends and family. Go for a meal, enjoy their company, the food and the wine.

Try Something New
Be creative. Learn to knit, make soap, learn French or Spanish on skype, buy some cheap water colors and paint a picture, it’s very therapeutic.

Friendly
Be Kind. Smile at the young man at the cash register, say hello to the lady walking her baby, wave back at the children who wave to you from their car. Help when you can.

Meditation
Remember to meditate daily, it links you to the light even if you can’t see it, and teach your kids to meditate, it will help them in life.

Diet Changes
Give up meat or eat less of it, it’s deadly for your health and karma.