More Crap…

So yesterday I was eating a salad and when I bit down I felt something hard so I went to the bathroom and part of my tooth broke off. It has a nice sharp edge and is scratching my cheek. I am drinking out of straws and hoping I can get in with someone by mid week. I haven’t been able to eat on the right side of my mouth for a year due to a bad tooth and this broken tooth is on the left, so I guess no eating for me. I am having sensitivity in the tooth, but I definitely could be worse. I sure don’t want to wait to long to get it fixed! Thankfully I now have some dental coverage.

They called with my appointment for the gynecologist oncologist and that is on a april 23rd. I should find out if he is going to go in for a biopsy or go in and take everything out. I fear cutting the growth, because you do not want to cut cancer and spread those cells through the body.

Two days ago I suddenly buckled over in intense pain higher up in my left side of my back than normal and I have not been able to get control of that pain since. It’s horrible. I feel so overwhelmed and like I am at the end of my rope. I was supposed to go grocery shopping today and I can’t do it. I have to lay in bed curled into a ball in order to even get an ounce of sleep. I have to sit hunched forward as this provides the least amount of pain. I had been having some issues with this area over the last few weeks, but it never stayed and it was not this intense. I feel like the cancer must of spread or something in order for it to be farther up my back. That is scary as hell. I have also had increased pain on the right side as well. This new area of pain is right where the spleen is on the left side of your back. I have also had pain in the lower abdomen now as well. Of course, I still have all the rest of the areas in pain too. The usual sources. My tailbone, low back on both sides, left hip, legs, feet and my neck.

I have an appointment with a foot doctor tomorrow and I have had to change this appointment a few times before for different reasons. I feel I need to cancel so I can try to get in with a dentist. I was set up with a foot doctor for the numbness in my feet and the pain, but now we are looking at all of the pain and even the feet may be caused by the growths on my ovaries. Do I call and leave a message saying I broke a tooth so I need to cancel in order to get in with a dentist as soon as possible?

I read some articles on the use of Frankincense essential oil on cancer. Some people swear by it and say that it shrinks the growths and even has gotten rid of their cancer all together. I have some of this and I figured it sure couldn’t hurt, so three days ago I started rubbing it on all the areas of my pain, the bottom of my feet, behind both ears and on my naval. My intense chronic pain began around three years ago or so and since it has spread. In the beginning it was only in my lower back and left hip area, but really deep inside. I couldn’t stand to shower and had to use a shower chair. I couldn’t hold my hands over my head and I had out spend a lot of time in bed in a certain position. So it has spread out to a much larger area and down my legs and feet. I have not been able to feel my feet for almost two years now. They are numb, yet it have a crushing pain in the balls of the feet.

And finally……. Last night my adult children had a couple of friends over to play beer Pong. One of the people over, I will call him “D”, has a history of bad behavior and getting violent, not to mention he always seems to be completely messed up on something. I finally went to bed just before midnight, after I told them to quiet down some since it was late and they were outside and noisy! At 12:30 my sons girlfriend came into my bedroom sobbing and woke me up. She said my son had beat “D” because he acted up again and wouldn’t stop. So out the door I go and I find my son standing there pissed off yelling at “D” and then “D” standing there covered in blood. There was a pool of blood on the porch as well. So I went in the house and got an old towel to clean up the pool of blood and a bucket of soapy water and several paper towels to clean up “D”. When I finally got most of the blood off of him I found that it was mostly coming from his nose and mouth. This was strike three for “D” and he is never allowed over here again. He gets wasted and then violent and it is as if he is blacked out while he is attacking someone. Twice before I had to not allow him over for many months. My sons head was bleeding, I guess he got his head slammed into the brick on the house at some point. He insisted I clean up “D” fist so I did. I finally went back to bed at 2am.

I have repeatedly begged for some peace and calm around here with all I am having to deal with and this is the crap I get. You would think they would realize that playing beer pong always results in something happening and they would consider me before themselves, but NO, they care only about themselves! I would never do that crap to my mother. I read how stress can cause changes in your body that make it easier for cancer to grow and make it worse. At this point I am struggling with just wanting to die right now and end all of my suffering. I do not have a support system, no one can put anyone before themselves here and all they care about is getting drunk………….

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I love the TV show The Walking Dead, this is from the last season!

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