For My Sake…

I woke with a song in my head again today. This time it was a song by Shinedown called “For My Sake”. I have included the lyrics below.

I often believe I wake with songs in my head for a reason. I then go look at the lyrics and see what that reason may be. This one is definitely touching base on the emotional drama I have lived in my current relationship as well as past ones.

I have two goals today and they are simple ones so I think I will accomplish them. The first one is already in progress! This is going to be a busy week for me. I have my much anticipated doctors appointment tomorrow to go over my MRI and then I will spend the week getting ready to go to my parents house for three weeks in Florida. I have to move appointments, wash all my clothes and pack everything, without forgetting the important stuff. I can not believe this week is finally here and I made it this far.

I have worked hard every day to keep positive thoughts in my head and fought through the constant daily negative ranting of the others here. Every day seems to be the same, where I spend a couple of hours working on myself and then I emerge from my den and the negative villagers attack me.

One thing everyone here keeps saying to me is that I do not speak of the good things they do. For me, I don’t see much of the good things going on. I have to fight to get the basic of chores accomplished and they do not take initiative to complete tasks. I do not reward behavior that is expected and there is a lot of negative behavior where they drink or do drugs. I don’t understand how they cannot see that. I have chosen to put forth my energy on myself instead now and suddenly they are all attacking me. Hmmm….. Interesting isn’t it. I have tried to get them all to see what they need to focus on and they are all over the age of 21 now, so it is time I focused on myself and being positive for me. Obviously nothing I say or do is going to change their behavior. So, I surrender to it all and I choose to work on me.

I hope to sit in the sun daily while I am away and get more active. Daily meditation will be easily obtained there as well. All positive things for me. I can go to a heated pool any day I want and that is wonderful, because the pool is the one place I can move about while being supported by the water and it doesn’t cause me increased pain. My mother has places she wants to go and I will willingly participate. I may experience increased pain from doing those activities, but I am going to do it anyway. I am always stuck here in this house in my den. I need to grab ahold of life while I have the opportunity! It is very difficult to achieve a positive mind set when you are constantly cooped up in a den and when negativity strikes at you when ever you emerge. For that, I look forward to the change!

I am here to tell you that you can over come anything, if you put your mind to the task at hand. There will always be rough patches and days where the darkness consumes your mind, but as long as you fight onward, you will be ok. Accept that these days will occur and sometimes you will feel like all the work you have put forth has been ripped from you in a matter of seconds. Just do not give up! Fight onward my friends. There will also be moments or even days that are magical. The good and the bad. That is called life! Just accept it and stop fighting it all, because in the end everything will be as it should be………….

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
FOR MY SAKE by Shinedown:
[Verse 1:]
I remember like yesterday
You had a dream in your eyes and a smile on your face
And I’m missing those days again yeah I’m missing those days again
And I forgot what really got in the way
Maybe the sun that wouldn’t shine should be taking the blame
Cause it’s raining on me again yeah it’s raining on me again

[Bridge:]
A paradox
The key you dropped
A manifest
For what you lost, was me
For my sake please…

[Chorus:]
Stop slowing me down, stop holding me up
Quit making a scene, enough’s enough.
Let’s be honest, your promise, was never meant to last
So I’m taking you on, Im calling you out.
There’s nothing left for us here now.
Let’s be honest, I promise, I’m never lookin’ back for my sake.
For my sake.

Tell me something that’s poetic at best
Make me believe there was a time that you weren’t like the rest
And I’ll never ask you again, and I’ll never ask you again
For all the moments and the memories
No one could ever say we never had a history
But I’m leaving that all behind
And there is nothing gonna change my mind

[Bridge:]
A paradox
The key you dropped
A manifest
For what you lost, was me
For my sake please…

[Chorus:]
Stop slowing me down, stop holding me up
Quit making a scene, enough’s enough.
Let’s be honest, your promise, was never meant to last
So Im taking you on, Im calling you out.
There’s nothing left for us here now.
Let’s be honest, I promise, I’m never lookin’ back for my sake.
For my sake.

[Bridge:]
A paradox
The key you dropped
A manifest
For what you lost, was me
For my sake please…
Stop slowing me down
Stop holding me up
Stop slowing me down
Enough’s enough

[Chorus:]
Stop slowing me down, stop holding me up
Quit making a scene, enough’s enough.
Let’s be honest, your promise, was never meant to last
So Im taking you on, Im calling you out.
There’s nothing left for us here now.
Let’s be honest, I promise, I’m never lookin’ back for my sake.
I’m never lookin’ back, for my sake.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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