Well, I made it to a new year again. My pain levels are horrendous and I am having to lay in bed more than not. The cold and rain has really amped up the pain levels. I have to lay in bed with a heated blanket under my sheet. That is the only way I can warm my body up at all. I feel like my bones are frozen and stiff, Aching flowing through every fiber of my being and deep harsh pain gripping me without an ounce of relief.
I called my doctors office today. I needed a refill for my short acting pain medication and I had to inform them that the long acting medication is not covered on my new insurance this year. My doctor is out until Monday. The nurse did call me back a short time later, she said she spoke to my doctors PA and that he said they could put me on a RX that I was already on the last year and we had stopped it due to the rashes, plus it wasn’t helping. Not only that, but he also said they would have to lower my short acting RX. I am so tired of this idiot having anything to say with my case. I told the nurse that what the PA said made no sense. How I was on that other long acting RX for a year and it was stopped last month due to the rashes and switched to what I have been on for the last month plus I had been on my short acting dose for over six months and I am still suffering in too much pain. I told her to wait until Monday and speak to the actual doctor. I already wasted an entire year seeing his PA who never listened to me about the lumps along my tailbone and how they have grown larger and the pain has increased with them. I demanded to see my actual doctor last month and he ordered an MRI to check for cancer. I can only hope that the year I wasted with the PA won’t be the death of me. I refuse to see that PA ever again, he is rude and just plain stupid. Also, if I do not get anywhere in February when I return for my MRI results, I will be making my next appointment with the neurologist whom I originally saw two years ago. That neurologist told me if I was not better in a year to come back to see him. I attempted to do that a year ago, but my doctor decided to actually see me then and I gave him a chance to figure out what the hell was going on with me and to get some control on to the pain. So, I will see him next month and if nothing is done to understand the problem or to help this horrendous pain, I will make the appointment to see the neurologist again. At the very least, he will look at my scans himself and he tends to see things that others miss. Something is seriously wrong. Something separate from my Degenerative Disc Disease, Arthritis, bulged Discs and pinched nerves. What began as horrible pain in my lower back on the left side, has now expanded to include my tailbone, hip, butt, legs and feet. Just getting through one day is all I can muster. It is so hard to get through the day, I hurt too much and I have had to resort to laying in bed. That is not a life people! Come on now, do something about it! I have looked up what long acting medications are covered on my RX plan and there are only four of them. None of which last a week, like what I am on, but there are two that are 12 hour. So, I say go to the 12 hour one twice a day and keep my short acting the same until we know how well it will help me.
It is so messed up that we, the patients, have to dig and search for possible ways to help ourselves and then we have to fight with our doctors to even try the medications that may or may not help us. I am tired, all the time. I just don’t have the energy to fight for anything. I force myself to eat something once a day and I have given in to laying in bed since that is the only way I can get through the day. I say, what ever those lumps are on my tailbone, take them out! They are obviously causing the increased pain! Maybe then, I will go back to dealing with the usual pain and maybe then the medications I am on now will be enough! Just do something and do it quick. I had my MRI on December 26 and I couldn’t get in to see my doctor until February 3. That’s messed up! Sometimes when I go for the return visit for my scans, they can’t even find them or they have not even been read yet. There are two places here for people in pain. I went to the other one first, per my doctors recommendation and he was horrible. That man tortured me on purpose and treated me like I was a drug addict, when I have never been even close to one in my life. My doctor then sent me to this place, two years ago. At least they try to help me with the pain. I’m running out of time though. I feel it in ever ounce of my being. It’s running out fast. Whether it is cancer or not, whatever it is, it has sucked the little bit of life I had out of me. I really don’t want to show my ass when I go to see my doctor, but I am going to have to stand up and demand something be done. I am regularly drug tested and I always pass and it shows I do take my medication. So why do I still get treated like a drug addict by many of the nurses and PA’s there? I get enough negativity from to he people I live with, I need my doctors to be positive and really listen to me. I have always been able to feel when something was wrong in my body. I have let this go on for far too long….